Few months back I got a marriage proposal from a really well known family in our community. It was perfect. The family and the guy himself were educated, and held similar family values, and interests and yes, were rich. No matter how good they were, I and my mom being a firm believer of Istikhara performed it. Knowing Allah will do what’s best for me.
After a week’s time, they said, ‘no’ and I was grateful to Allah. But the story doesn’t end here… My paternal side was after my parents to make this proposal work and kept forcing them as this was a dream proposal. Anyways, after lots of hue and cry, it didn’t work.
The guy got married to another girl (whom I knew) and within two months time, the girl got a khula as the family and her husband used to harass and treat her shoddily. This was shocking news in our community as the family is well known and no one expected this from them. Yes, unfortunately for the girl, may Allah help her but I couldn’t stop being so grateful to Him.
‘Allah saved me was all I could think of.’
Thus, that is why Istikhara, for me is a blessing, it directly connects me to Allah. It’s a powerful tool and I always recommend everyone to perform it in making small or big decisions of their lives, as Allah knows best. I have performed Istikhara for most of the decisions in my life. Whether, it is related with job, and yes, I have quit my jobs on the basis of Istikhara and applying for universities and what not.
Evidently one must keep in mind that you have to have a thorough analysis of the situation and then perform salat-ul-istikhara. As Islam also says it’s a mixture of both things – your effort + pre destiny. As we all know this famous saying, ‘Trust in Allah but tie your camel.’
One must remember that istikhara (prayer for guidance) works when you have full faith and trust in Allah and of course follow the five pillars of Islam strongly.
Unfortunately, our society has made Istikhara into a special prayer, which requires lot of preparations, some say, ‘you should say salat-ul-Istikhara and go to sleep without speaking to anyone.’ Some say, ‘you will see dreams – if you see this and this colour in your dream, it’s a positive sign otherwise it’s a negative one.’ And other believes that has led people in confusion.
Importantly Istikhara, is a guidance – it is NOT about a dream at all. Whenever one performs istikhara, one should have complete faith in Allah. Through Isitkhara, something which is not good for you will automatically be shifted away from you and you will be guided to the right path. You don’t have to worry yourself in having a dream or seeing different colours or looking for a sign – this shifts your entire focus. You just have to have the BELIEVE and you will KNOW. And pray for the PATIENCE so that you don’t go astray.
Lastly, how salat-ul-istikhara should be performed is described in the Hadith narration below:
Narrated Jabir bin ‘Abdullah: The Prophet (PBUH) used to teach us the way of doing istikhara He said, “If anyone of you thinks of doing any job he should offer a two Rakat prayer other than the compulsory ones and say (after the prayer)
(O Allah! I ask guidance from Your knowledge, And Power from Your Might and I ask for Your great blessings. You are capable and I am not. You know and I do not and You know the unseen. O Allah! If You know that this job is good for my religion and my subsistence and in my Hereafter–(or said: If it is better for my present and later needs)–Then You ordain it for me and make it easy for me to get, And then bless me in it, and if You know that this job is harmful to me In my religion and subsistence and in the Hereafter–(or said: If it is worse for my present and later needs)–Then keep it away from me and let me be away from it. And ordain for me whatever is good for me, and make me satisfied with it). The Prophet added that then the person should name (mention) his need.
Sahih Al-Bukhari – Book 21 Hadith 263
When making the dua, the actual matter or decision should be mentioned instead of the words “hathal-amra” (“this matter”).
The rest, Allah knows best, He is the All-Seeing, and All-Hearing.
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