Fighting Assumptions and Misunderstandings in Muslim Marriages

Posted by on Oct 26, 2014 in Marriage, Marriage in Islam | 0 comments

Fighting Assumptions and Misunderstandings in Muslim Marriages

“Oh you who believe. Avoid much negative assumptions. Indeed some assumption is sin.” (Quran 49:12)

The above verse from the Quran relates to not only the daily dealings of the world but all relationships that are a part of this world too. Be it a mother-daughter, a brother-sister or a husband-wife. Allah has strictly asked us to avoid negativity in our lives and when negativity takes the form of negative assumptions it could be a grave sin. This is because negative assumptions lead to misunderstandings and that leads to destruction of relationships. The most common relationship that negative assumptions and misunderstandings affect is Muslim Marriage.

In the bond of marriage there are a number of ways to fight assumptions between spouses. Assumptions could be on different levels but they all start very small, as a tiny comment or a phrase said without thinking, so something done without paying much attention. Allah has asked us to think of the consequences before we speak or act but rarely anyone follows this guidance. In marriages, however, it becomes imperative to be careful in the relationship or risk being misunderstood forever.

A number of examples exist after which misunderstandings may occur. When, for example, the wife does not compliment the husband on his achievement at work, this may send a wrong signal to the husband that she’s not thrilled, or when the husband compares his wife with another woman in front of her.  This could lead to negative assumptions. There is a tradition of the Holy Prophet (PBUH) “Do not compare your husband with another man and do not compare your wife with another woman.” It is also not permissible for the wife to let any male enter her house without the husband’s prior permission. Such instances can put suspicion in the hearts of spouses and indeed that is an evil feeling.

Fighting negativity also involves having a strong will to sacrifice in many issues. Compromising does not only lead to peace in the house but also positive after effects as things get fixed due to the compassion of one spouse. Soon issues are forgotten and couples can resume with their content married life.

Accepting that there will be times when Allah will test you in your marriage is also one way of fighting negative assumptions as you are prepared that if you are to see sunny days then so will you see raining and troublesome ones. You do not lose hope and give up but you move on with a positive attitude and believe that it is not the end.

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