Muslims enter into marriage taking it to be an institution of beauty. And indeed it is. The relationship of the husband and the wife is one of the most sweetest relationships and what better example do we have to see than the life of Prophet Mohammad (PBUH). However, unlike the life of the greatest example for mankind, we fail to appreciate the beauty of the relationship f marriage for the entire lifetime. Sure, the marriage starts out as great, with the couple reveling in their new found love together, and going on with what they call the ‘honeymoon’ period, it doesn’t last too long.
For many reasons, the love between the couple, which was once a feeling, increasingly starts becoming an obligation. As responsibilities increase, children are born and grow older, it becomes increasingly difficult for the couple to make time for each other, to even give each other a peck on the cheek. For such couples, a revival of the marriage is required.
There are many ways a Muslim couple can revive the love in their marriage. These are:
Go back to where you started: What was the first conversation you ever had as husband and wife? What did your wife cook for you? What was the first compliment your husband gave you? Realize the answers to all these questions and approach them again. Cook that first dish again! Compliment her beauty again! Remind each other of the time when you both were newly and love and the efforts you both made to please each other. Just that thought would make both of you smile. So think that thought!
Evaluate why: think of the the time that you decided to marry each other. What was the reason? Was it because he was handsome, generous, courteous, compassionate, giving, peaceful? Why did you marry your wife? Because she was beautiful, caring, loving, understanding, patient? Thought of all the reasons? Now FIND them in each other AGAIN!
Compliment: Sure there is no time to call your wife while you’re at work, and ofcourse you couldn’t care less what your husband wants to eat for dinner while you’re tackling 3 stubborn children but you CAN take 7 seconds out to compliment each other. Tell your husband at breakfast that his tie looks great. Kiss your wife before you leave for work. Sayyida A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) says: “The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) would kiss me before leaving for prayers, and he would not perform an ablution.” (Sunan al-Darqutni, 1/49 and others)
Take a vacation: going out to relieve stress is not only restricted to the honeymoon at the beginning of the marriage. Take a break. Spend time with each other by going out and relaxing in each other’s presence. Talk. Compliment. Share jokes.
Don’t let time and responsibilities sour your relationship. Marriage is the most beautiful institution in Islam for a reason. Because Allah has ordained that we spend our entire lives with each other in love and harmony. It’s an entire lifetime of love and attraction towards each other. An entire lifetime. Revive your love as much as you want to in that lifetime. Don’t let it stop.
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