Sure, Marriage in Islam is a beautiful institution and indeed it is increasingly encouraged in Islam. There is a tradition of the Holy Prophet (PBUH) that says that ‘Whoever among you can afford to get married should get married’. This means that whoever can take up the responsibility of marriage financially, emotionally and practically should indeed get married for marriage is one of the most loved of all relationships in the sight of Allah. Allah says in the Quran about the encouragement of marriage:
“You shall encourage those of you who are single to get married. They may marry the righteous among your male and female servants, if they are poor. GOD will enrich them from His grace. GOD is Bounteous, Knower. [24:32]”
To create a marriage a man and a woman in Islam must go through the stage of a wedding that is called Nikah. A wedding creates a marriage, the latter being the most important part of the element. However, many people do not understand the difference between a wedding and a marriage. While the nikah is the foundation that sets the marriage into motion, the marriage is a complete lifetime between the man and the woman. That is why Allah has asked us to focus more on the marriage. Sadly, in our society this does not happen.
When a man and woman are ready to get married, there are numerous arrangements and planning that is taken place that leads up to the wedding day. Halls are booked, magnificent guests lists are prepared, abundant food is catered, fancy stages are setup and clothes are stocked left right and centre. Planning, planning, planning. And all for what? Just for one day! The bride spends sleepless nights trying to decide which parlour to go to and the groom spends his working hours making sure the food catered is up to standard. Sure, all this is important, all the planning and fuss would only make for a wonderful wedding! But would all this planning make for a wonderful marriage?
No it wouldn’t. If all the effort and planning that is put in a single day of wedding is put in planning an entire lifetime of marriage, there would be marriages that existed like the Holy Prophet’s (PBUH) himself. If we take the example of the Holy Prophet, he got married in simplicity but he had a vision to make his marriages work. The bride should bother less about the 3 hour of make up sessions on the day of the wedding and bother more about the first 3 months that she will spend trying to build a beautiful home with her husband. Instead of the groom having endless conversations with furniture vendors, he should (in the limits set by Islam) talk to his to-be-bride about the future they will build together, work to eradicate any misunderstandings and make himself ready for compromise on many levels.
And most importantly, the bride and groom should spend their time praying to Allah for a successful future together, pray to make each other their “garments” and pray for a life that will lead them both to Jannah. In short they should work towards a long lasting marriage rather than a one day wedding. May Allah take us to the right path. Ameen.
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