Most people enter into the relationship of marriage expecting to have found the perfect partner after carrying out the perfect wedding at the most perfect time. Indeed Allah has asked all Muslims to marry young and enjoy the halal relationship between a husband and a wife rather than embrace the life of zina. However, many of us enter into the institute of marriage with extremely high hopes and the notion of “and they lived happily (and perfectly) ever after” in their minds. Whereas we are asked by Allah to seek the good in life and to enjoin in goodness of the world, we must also realize that this world and with it all relationships, are not perfect, just like all of us.
So for Muslims who enter marriage thinking that is the beginning to their blissful life, it comes as a rude shock when it does not live upto expectations. Allah has created us as humans but we have not been created for this world. We have been created for Jannah. So when we live in this world we are bound to show imperfections just like this world. So while Allah agrees that we living in this world are NOT perfect, He Subhanawatallah also expects us to try.
A marriage is hence the relationship where Allah expects of his servants to live in peace in harmony, in love and mercy, in patience and compromise and He EXPECTS us to not expect the marriage to be perfect. Every man dreams for a perfect wife and every woman dreams of a perfect husband. But that is just an illusion. In reality no one can be perfect and hence you cannot expect your life to be perfect with a perfect partner. What a husband and wife do not realize is that Allah made them to complete one another. Through all the love, the fights, the flirting, the disagreements, the togetherness and the arguments they indeed ARE perfect for one another because they complement each other and they complete each other. We seek a perfect Muslim marriage from Allah but we do not realize that this is as perfect as it can get.
The Holy Prophet (PBUH) has said “No believing man should hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her characteristics, he may be pleased with another.”
The imperfection explained so simply by the Prophet (PBUH) in his words!
Some people feel that they will attain complete happiness through marriage. But we must all remember, Muslim brothers and sisters, that happiness is not dependant on finding the perfect partner. We cannot expect a person who is as imperfect as we are to give us the perfect life or the perfect marriage. We just cannot. Feeling that marriage with the perfect person will bring you happiness is just a fantasy and we must not embrace it. We should be practical and believe that the perfect marriage can only be obtained if we are ourselves happy, content, religious and on the right path.
Allah says in the Holy Quran, “Lo! Allah does not change the condition of a folk until they (first) change by themselves that which is in their hearts;” (Chap. 13 V.11). Once we truly understand that The Perfect Marriage can only exist when we learn to accept our spouse for who they are, learn to deal with them with patience, compromise and love, that is when true happiness will embrace our lives with the help of Allah. Indeed a perfect marriage in Islam is that which gives you the companionship of a spouse who believes in Allah and that which is peaceful.
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