A Woman’s Right in Islam to Refuse a Marriage Proposal

Posted by on Mar 7, 2014 in Islam, Marriage | 0 comments

A Woman’s Right in Islam to Refuse a Marriage Proposal

Indeed Allah has endowed women with rights so many, hundreds of years ago, that would shock even the Western countries who apparently place a lot of importance on women rights.  Such is the importance of the rights of women in Islam that Allah has said:

“From what is left by parents and those nearest related there is a share for men and a share for women, whether the property be small or large – an ordained share.”

So if the women are given a share in the properties of their loved ones, it is apparent and even natural that they are given equal rights in the choosing of the man they will spend the rest of their lives with. Before Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) became the messenger of Allah, unjust towards women was very common. Not only were girls buried alive, if at all they managed to live they would be married forcefully. Allah completely despised this practice in Islam.

He decreed that the instituition of marriage was a relationship built on mutual agreement which later brought about love, companionship and harmony. So it was necessary for the Muslim man and the Muslim woman to be in complete agreement before carrying out the nikah, for it was the whole life of theirs at stake.

There was once an incident when Umme Kulsoom (D/o Abu Bakr) was asked for her hand in marriage by Hazrat Umar (R) but she refused very politely. Hazrat Ayesha questioned her and asked her why she was refusing the marriage proposal of one of the Leaders of the Believers of Muslims. To that Umme Kulsoom had replied that it was because he led a tough life. This was a genuine reason and Hazrat Umar accepted her refusal with grace and moved on. He did not attempt to forcefully marry her against her wishes and this was an example for Muslims all across the world!

Thus not only did Umme Kulsoom use her right to refuse a marriage proposal but Hazrat Umar also accepted her refusal and went ahead and married someone else. This incident was a highlight in showing the Muslim Ummah that the right of the woman to refuse a marriage proposal, no matter how good, could always be exercised if it did not suit the girl. The Holy Prophet (PBUH) infact went as far as to say that the marriage contract was invalid if the girl was forcefully married to a man in Islam. This meant that by Shariah standards the marriage had not even taken place. Such was the importance of gaining the permission of the woman before marriage in Islam, Alhamdulillah!

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