Domestic Violence! What Islamic Marriages is NOT about!

Posted by on Sep 8, 2013 in Islam, Marriage | 0 comments

Domestic Violence! What Islamic Marriages is NOT about!

For centuries there has been a massive debate among Islamic scholars regarding domestic violence in Islam for the Quran says “And as for those women whose ill-will you have reason to fear, admonish them [first]; then leave them alone in bed; then beat them; and if thereupon they pay you heed, do not seek to harm them. Behold, God is indeed most high, great!” (4:34). The analysis of this verse, as most scholars believe, is that if a wife disrespects, disobeys and disregards her husband after a great deal of tolerance from the husband, he should first admonish them and if they do not listen he should not share a bed with them and even after this if there has been no effect on the wife’s behavior, should he consider hitting her. Which means that hitting should be the last resort, done only under exceptional circumstances. Indeed, Allah is Great and All-Knowing.

The life of the Holy Prophet (PBUH) which is a living example for us shows how he completely disapproved of misbehaving with wives. He ordained Marriages in Islam as a beautiful relationship, that which would complete half your faith. How could he, living this beautiful life with Hazrat Khadijah, ordain the beating of the life partner? There have been numerous traditions where the Holy Prophet has explicitly directed his followers not to beat their wives. Muawiah Qusahyri narrated,

“I went to the Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him) and asked him: What do you say (command) about our wives? He replied: Give them food what you have for yourself, and clothe them by which you clothe yourself, and do not beat them, and do not revile them”

Also in another tradition, the Holy Prophet (PBUH) said “Approach your tilt when or how you will, give her (your wife) food when you take food, clothe when you clothe yourself, do not revile her face, and do not beat her”

This is what Islamic Marriages are NOT about! Allah has written in the Quran about the sanctity of marriage saying that ““I created you from one soul, and from the soul I created its mate so that you may live in harmony and love.” Two words. Harmony and Love. How could Islam then advocate violence against the women? The Holy Prophet lived with all his wives in love, trust, understanding and peace for Muslims to follow him. So should we not follow this great advocate of Islam and behave the same with our wives?

Many scholars have agreed to the fact that while the Quran does give acceptance to hitting of the wives, it is still something that is highly unacceptable, brings about the displeasure of Allah, and must be avoided till the last resort. Live in love with your wives and they will respond in equal measure. Give her the love she desires and you will get the respect you desire. And the cycle will continue till you both enter Jannah hand in hand InshAllah.

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