The best thing in life is having partner in your life who loves you unconditionally and who won’t turn away from you in your darkest moments. However, in all relationships, disagreements and fights are inevitable and in marriages it is even more so as marriage is a union of two individuals in commitment who live together. Two individuals who have different personalities, who have grown up in different environments with different families and when they come together and live as one, there are bound to be some, fireworks, as they call it.
Islam also recognizes this situation in Muslim marriages. The Quran has mentioned in various places the issues that come up in Islamic marriage and also provided antidotes to deal with them SubhanAllah. So we will be going through some of the steps spouses can take when they find that there is unhappiness and regular fights in their marriage.
It is said in the Quran In Surah al-Baqarah, verse 231, that when the wife shows displeasure in the marriage, the man is not to mistreat her or force her into submission, “And do not retain them (i.e. women) in wedlock against their will in order to hurt them. He who does such a thing indeed sins against himself. And do not take the signs of God lightly…” In the same way, if the husband is not happy because his wife is continuously being nasty to him, he can lightly beat the wife but only after all other means of cajoling her fail. However, both these actions from the wife and husband respectively can only take place when both are trying to make the marriage work. If both have made it clear to each other the intention of not staying in the marriage, these rights upon them become void.
Happiness and fights in marriages result from lack of communication between the husband and the wife. So the first step to make right an unpleasant situation or an argument is to approach each other and talk. This may have two of the following results. Either things become clear and the husband and wife thereby continue to live in harmony and peace as prescribed by the Quran and Sunnah or matters escalate and both do not reach an agreement. If things become a little better as a result of communication, the husband and wife should consider turning a new leaf. They should try to reignite the love in their marriage and start from scratch, just like newly weds. A great idea would be to relive the day they got married and that would, in most cases than not, reignite the love and warmth they felt for each other. And this, in turn can reduce the unhappiness in their marriage gradually.
Ofcourse, the best thing in the word would be, as they say, for the husband/wife to fight for him/her, not with him/her, in many cases this is unavoidable. In such cases Allah has allowed for the couple to separate, even though divorce is the least loved of the things that Allah has allowed. The couple is expected to show strength of character while battling an unhappy marriage and try to work things out before finally giving up. In the end, Allah knows best.
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